PFLAG San Francisco
Our History
In 1972, Jeanne Manford marched with her son, Morty, in NYC while holding a handmade sign that sparked a movement. A year later, PFLAG was born in NYC. For the next decade, parent-led support groups began springing up across the country in church basements, living rooms, and wherever they could gather.
The Early Years
In 1977 our local chapter was founded by Bernice Becker and Leslie Bunch.
Bernice Becker 1921-2011
Originally from Brooklyn, New York, Bernice fought for schools, safe streets, tenants’ rights, and racial equality while in Brooklyn—all while raising 3 children. Bernice served as chair of PFLAG San Francisco into the 1980’s, she was a fierce proponent of people’s rights and fought injustice wherever she saw it.
In 1978 in the wake of Harvey Milk’s assassination, our chapter doubled down on our mission. Our newsletter from December that year read:
In 1982 we changed our name to Parents and Friends of Gays.
In 1984 we changed our name again to reflect the national organization that had formed in 1982, uniting chapters across the country under one name.
In 1994 we started using a new unifying symbol.
Those early years were scrappy, handmade, and honest. While our language and membership evolved, our mission has stayed the same: Support. Educate. Advocate.
In the Shadow of the AIDS Crisis
By the mid-1980s AIDS was devastating our LGBTQ+ community while the federal government turned a blind eye. Here in San Francisco the AIDS epidemic swept through the city like wildfire. It decimated a generation of queer people—and was met with shame, silence, and staggering indifference. Amid this climate of fear and misinformation, being out was dangerous. Seeking care could feel futile. And offering support wasn’t just compassionate—it was defiant.
Families on the Frontlines
Parents, families, and allies were left to make sense of the unspeakable: watching their children and their children’s communities die without dignity, support, or adequate care. For PFLAG San Francisco, the AIDS crisis wasn’t abstract—it was personal.
Rose Basile joined our local chapter and was an unshakable presence at meetings. She was the editor of our newsletter in the late 80’s. When her son Vinnie Basile and partner Steven Tanner tested positive for HIV she moved to the country (Guerneville) with them in hopes to reduce stress and increase longevity. Vinnie passed away on the morning of his 41st birthday in 1995.
Showing Up, Again and Again
In addition to a dedicated AIDS support group, PFLAG San Francisco members staffed hospital beds, stood vigil, marched with the Names Project Quilt, and raised funds for the AIDS Emergency Fund. We dispelled misinformation with every pamphlet and panel discussion.
Michael Powell Boyer, son of Arlene and Fred Boyer of our chapter, is honored with a quilt panel celebrating his love of art, teaching, and the outdoors. After his passing in July 1988, family and friends gathered in the garden he shared with his longtime partner, Peter, to celebrate his life. Michael’s panel in the NAMES Project AIDS Memorial Quilt was displayed in the background—a heartfelt tribute to a life marked by courage, compassion, and love.
From Protest to Policy
In 1999, PFLAG San Francisco was chosen as Organizational Grand Marshal at SF Pride! Our local chapter earned citywide recognition before marriage licenses began.
On February 12, 2004, San Francisco began issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples. Lines formed at City Hall, and PFLAG San Francisco mobilized volunteers and support.
Paperwork in Action
Even before San Francisco started issuing marriage licenses in 2004, PFLAG San Francisco staffed a booth at SF Pride, where three notaries and volunteers worked over two full days helping couples complete paperwork for domestic partnership.
The Whiplash Years
May 2008: The California Supreme Court ruled that denying marriage to same-sex couples violates the state constitution. Counties began issuing licenses.
November 2008: Voters approved Proposition 8 with 52 percent yes. The amendment added a ban on same-sex marriage to the state constitution.
August 2010: A federal judge struck down Proposition 8 in Perry v. Schwarzenegger. The court found the ban violated due process and equal protection.
June 2013: The U.S. Supreme Court ended the Prop 8 case on standing in Hollingsworth v. Perry. The Ninth Circuit lifted the stay and marriages resumed in California.
Parents Changed Votes
PFLAG parents spoke publicly, organized locally, and reached statewide audiences. They told family stories on TV and radio, wrote op-eds, and spoke at town halls and school boards. PFLAG parents appeared in the California Voter Information Guide in 2008 opposing Prop 8. These actions moved undecided voters.
Leaders. Mentors. Family.
Sam and Julia Thoron led PFLAG San Francisco through the 1990s and 2000s and opened their home for monthly board meetings. Sam also served as PFLAG National President from 2002 to 2006. They mentored new leaders, ran outreach, and showed up at Pride and City Hall. Watch the NoOnProp8 commercial that feature them.
Nationwide Equality
On June 26, 2015, Obergefell v. Hodges affirmed marriage equality nationwide. Families gained recognition across all states. We celebrated and renewed support and advocacy.
Kenda and Charity on their wedding day, surrounded by PFLAG. Sam and Julia Thoron walked Kenda down the aisle when her family did not attend. Kenda served on the board from 2002 to 2022.
Our Work Continues
With the unprecedented attacks on trans people, our opponents want us to believe this is a new fight.
Our 50+ year history has taught us: No force on earth is more powerful than a parent’s love for their child. No legislature can regulate it. No court can overturn it. No hate can extinguish it.
Your story belongs in this timeline. Were you in a City Hall line or at the Pride booth? We’d love to hear your story. Please reach out to us if you have any stories or images to share.